Itchy Penis: 5 Tips for Hiding the Scratch

It can happen anywhere. In the boardroom while giving an important presentation. On a date with that excellent woman that has always previously been aloof. Upon entering her parents’ house on the day a guy finally meets his girlfriend’s father. An itchy penis doesn’t care where a guy is, what he’s doing, or who he’s meeting. All an itchy penis cares about it getting a good scratch from its owner (or another appropriate party). Practicing appropriate penis care is one way to keep an itchy penis at bay, but sometimes an itch occurs that one simply has to scratch.

When that situation arises, a guy needs to know how to make that scratch as unobtrusively as possible. With that in mind, the following tips may come in handy.

1) Draw attention to some key figures. If an itchy penis rears its insistent head while a man is up front at a meeting, it pays to have a distraction ready. Telling everyone to look at the chart on page 22 can buy a man a precious few seconds to subtly get in a quick scratch while all eyes are focused on finding that chart. A guy can buy even more time by giving them the wrong page number and then apologizing - "Sorry, that should be page 23" - after getting his relief.

2) Be strategic about standing. Putting something between himself and his date can provide a screen for a scratch, especially if that something keeps him covered below the equator. Moving behind a high backed chair to get a better look at a photo on the wall enables a quick tug to relieve the itch.

3) Tie one’s shoes. Sometimes it’s a good thing to walk around with open laces - or at least to pretend that one does. When a man bends over to take care of untied shoes, his midsection is obscured and there’s the opportunity for relief. But what to do if wearing loafers with no laces? Improvise - bend down to remove a pesky pebble that has somehow made its way into the shoe.

4) Use the cell. Many men keep their cell phones in their back pockets - but, where an itchy penis is concerned, keeping one in a front pocket is a better idea. When the urge to scratch comes upon him, he can fumble around in his pocket for his cell, claiming that it’s on vibrate and he needs to answer it. As he tries to get it out of his front pocket, he can brush his hand against the penis a few times.

5) Be clumsy. This is one of those last-gasp measures, but there’s always the old reliable "Oops! I just spilled my wine" option. Whether the wine (or other liquid) actually spills on his crotch or not, a guy can still dab it freely with a handkerchief or napkin to take care of the spill. Sure, it makes him look a bit like a klutz - but some guys prefer that to being caught scratching their penis.

Although every guy has an itchy penis situation at some time or other and really, really needs to scratch, there will be fewer such occasions if he pays special attention to his overall penis health. One way to accomplish this is by daily applying a top drawer penis health creme (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil, which is clinically proven mild and safe for skin). Penile itching is often caused by dray penis skin, so it pays to select a crème that includes both a high end emollient (such as shea butter) and a natural hydrating agent (such as vitamin E). In addition, the skin will be healthier if it is not a victim of oxidative stress, so find a crème that also includes a component for fighting excess free radicals, such as alpha lipoic acid.