Sexual Fetishes vs. Kinks - They’re Not the Same

Those who have particular tastes when it comes to sex often identify as "kinky" or as "fetishists." But these two words actually have significantly different meanings and shouldn’t be used interchangeably. A man would do well to know what his sexual desires and preference are, since a gratifying sex life is imperative to overall physical, mental and penile health. Here, men can learn how to identify their tastes as either sexual fetishes or kinks, as well as some tips for communicating desires to partners and fulfilling them safely.

Fetishes
A fetish is chiefly characterized by the fact that the individual needs something - whether during the sexual act or simply in his imagination - in order to get off. That thing is often either an object or a body part. Feet, leather and heels are common fetishes. A man may need, for example, to be in contact with feet, to be looking at them or at least to be picturing them in order to achieve sexual gratification.
Many people have fetishes, so they aren’t exactly abnormal. And, generally, they are not unhealthy. There are some more bizarre fetishes, such as wearing diapers and acting like an infant, attraction to teddy bears and the idea of being swallowed by someone whole or devouring another whole. These may be a bit harder to sell to a partner, but may be perfectly harmless.
There are some fetishes that can get people into trouble along with harming others if they are put into practice. These include frotteurism, or rubbing up against someone without their consent for sexual stimulation, attraction to animals and arousal by inflicting pain on animals. Acting out these fantasies would be illegal and immoral. People with such fetishes must rely on imagination or the creation of scenarios with a consenting individual that approximate the experience that entices them. Seeking therapy may help individuals safely manage these fetishes.

Since the fulfillment of a fetish, either in mind or in action, is necessary for a person to experience sexual release, it’s important to find partners who are open to them. Unfortunately, many individuals feel shame surrounding their fetishes. Bringing one up to a partner only to be met with derision, disgust or fear is not good for anyone. There are many online communities, such as FetLife, where people can connect with others in an open, honest environment friendly to fetishes both typical and further off the beaten path.

Kinks
Unlike a fetish, a kink is something that a person enjoys very much sexually, but that the person doesn’t need in order to achieve sexual satisfaction. Some kinks may have the same objects as fetishes, such as leather or feet, but the desire is less intense. Acts like hair pulling, spanking, dirty talk and consenting voyeurism or exhibitionism are other examples of kinks.

Though the fulfillment of a man’s kinks is not necessary for sexual satisfaction, he may find them important enough to merit seeking out a partner open to exploring them. Incorporating one’s kinks may be the difference between okay/good sex and fantastic sex, and everyone deserves to have the latter.

Penile Upkeep
Once a man is in a relationship in which his kinks or fetishes can be realized, he may experience a spike in sexual activity. There is very little to complain about there, but a man may notice that his rod is often sore from the frictions involved with sex, and possibly from fulfilling his kink or fetish if an element of roughness is involved. It’s important for men to keep their tools in peak condition so they are ready for action when the opportunity presents. Using a quality penis health crème (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) is a good option for guys who could use some extra moisture in the region. This product contains Shea butter and vitamin E, which both work to hydrate the skin in different ways. Tag team chafing, dryness and soreness with a top-notch skin care product.

Sexual Fetishes – 7 Common Obsessions, and How to Indulge in Them

What really gets a person’s motor running may qualify as a sexual fetish. Technically, fetishists are people whose sexual arousal is dependent on a particular object, body part or situation - they can’t get off without it. This type of fetish can be problematic, since it may interfere with relationships and social functioning. However, it’s fairly common for people to be particularly turned on by something without requiring it for sexual gratification. For most, the subject of a fetish supplements the sex act rather than being necessary for it. Along with practicing appropriate penis care, an active sex life is important for the health of the member. Learn about seven common sexual fetishes below and some tips for indulging in them, making sexy time even more exciting.

Piercings
Some men and women can’t get enough of metal in flesh. This could be for many reasons - the rebellious nature of piercings, the feeling of metal against soft skin, the extra sensation of a tongue piercing during oral sex, etc. People may enjoy fondling a partner’s piercing in his or her hand during sex, sucking on it or rubbing it up against his or her body.

Biting
People with a biting fetish enjoy being bitten by and/or biting their partners. It’s important to know what partners are comfortable with. Some may be okay with getting bitten only if it’s not hard enough to leave a mark; others may actually want blood drawn; still others fall somewhere in between. Always respect a partner’s boundaries.

A well-timed, well-placed bite has the potential to drive both partners wild. It’s an obvious component of foreplay, but can also be banked on at a moment close to climax or during an orgasm to heighten the sensation. Erogenous zones, such as the neck, are great spots for a nibble. Partners can play around with sex positions that provide easiest access to preferred biting locations.

Partialism
Partialists fetishize a particular body part. Common ones are the feet and buttocks. Foot fetishists come in about as many shapes and sizes as the feet they lust after. Some may prefer to look at feet while masturbating or having sex, while others want to be touched by the feet. Some are very particular about what types of feet they like, while others become aroused by nearly any foot. Still others may only be turned on by a specific person’s feet.

Buttocks fetishists also vary widely in tastes. Partners can wear rear-accentuating garments and assume sex positions, such as doggie style and reverse cowgirl, to showcase their assets for maximum fetish indulgence.

Shoe
People often associate women with the love of shoes, but most shoe fetishists are men who get off on looking at and/or being intimate with a woman wearing a particular type of shoe. Often, the shoe of choice is the high heel. Men vary considerably in what type of high heel - boot or strappy, knee-high or low-cut, thick or thin heel, etc. - arouses them. Sex positions in which a woman’s heeled feet are visible to a man - on her back with her legs in the air in front of him, or any position in front of a mirror - can be very gratifying for the shoe fetishist.

BDSM
The "BD" above stands for "bondage" and "discipline"; the "SM" stands for "sadism" and "masochism." Some people are only into certain components of this acronym, while others want them all. People on the dominant side may like to restrain partners and be in control of the sex act; pain administration may or may not be a component. Those on the submissive side of this fetish derive pleasure from being controlled and, sometimes, having pain inflicted upon them.

The absolute most important part of indulging in this fetish is establishing very clear boundaries about what both partners want and are comfortable with. A plan should be in place to stop the sex act if either party feels uncomfortable at any point. Pursuing BDSM, or any individual component thereof, is best done with someone a person trusts and respects.

Leather
Fabric fetishists can’t get enough of looking at and/or feeling a particular material, and leather is perhaps the most common. Leather may symbolize toughness, rebellion and/or power. Some people may simply get off on the texture. Fetishists may like to wear leather themselves, or they may prefer that a partner wears it. People can experiment with different leather objects - whips, corsets, boots, cuffs, underwear, masks, etc.

Exhibitionism/Voyeurism
For some, nothing is a greater turn-on than either being watched or watching others engage in sexual activity. There’s obviously a danger of doing something immoral and/or illegal with this fetish, but individuals and couples can take steps to pursue it safely, morally and legally.

Voyeurists may enjoy watching live sex shows online or going to a club where such a thing is offered. They may also find another couple that consents to being watched in person.
Exhibitionists may like to record themselves (keeping faces out of the video is generally a good idea). They can also ask others to watch them perform the dirty deed.

Along with exploring and indulging in sexual fetishes to improve his sex life, a man should take steps to keep his busy member in top shape, both in terms of form and function. Proper hygiene combined with a daily application of a quality penis health cream (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) can help achieve this. The best cream will contain vitamins, nutrients and antioxidants that promote everything from smooth skin to proper nerve function.